


Of Crackers and Science

by AClusterOfFandoms



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Carlos can't cook, Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil Is Not Described, Cecil can't science, M/M, SCIENCE!, Wheat and wheat by-product free, but he is slightly taller than Carlos that's just true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1570766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AClusterOfFandoms/pseuds/AClusterOfFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil takes a science course at the Night Vale community college. Carlos helps. It's adorable, these two are perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure when this is set, but definitely before Parade Day (episode 46). I was originnally going to start a convoluted AU with teacher!Cecil and student!Carlos, but then I wrote this. Enjoy.

Cecil was starring at a text book entitled "Chemistry for beginners". It was a sucky text book, but there was no way he was going to the library to find another one. The pictures in front of him merged together in his mind, forming swirling patterns that reminded him of his tattoos. They wiggled appreciatively at the acknowledgment. He blinked, ran his hand through his hair and shook his head.   
Just then, the door began to open and Carlos burst through, laden with groceries. Cecil panicked and tried to hide the book, pulling it off the table and sitting on it. He watched as the scientist tried to close the door, but his hands were quite full. Carlos looked at him pointedly.  
"Little help here, Cec?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. A knot twisted in his stomach: do I sit and be rude and suspicious, or do I help and ruin the surprise for Carlos? He quickly decided on the latter and grabbed some bags from his boyfriend.  
Carlos shut the door and followed him into the kitchen. Cecil didn't think he'd noticed the book. They put the groceries away together and he tried to make general conversation about the day.  
"So, how was your day? I see you're home early. Good news or bad?" It was always either 'we figured something out and so we decided to call it a day' or 'everything we know is a lie and Karen started weeping at the void so we decided to call it a day.' Personally, Cecil really wanted it to be the latter. Not because he wanted to see Carlos upset, he would never want that, but because it might distract him enough for the book to be slipped away.  
"David figured out why the sunset has been so noisy recently. It was an awesome logic leap, I'm actually a little jealous." Carlos grinned and Cecil looked outwardly happy. "I was thinking I could cook tonight. I know last time was a disaster, but I have a good feeling about this." He'd said that last time, but Cecil was grateful for the distraction and he nodded and wrapped his arms around Carlos from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.  
"That sounds wonderful, I can't wait to see what you make." They stood like that a moment more, mostly because Cecil was tired from studying and had gotten comfortable on his boyfriend's shoulder. Then he moved back into the living room and flicked on the TV.   
He quickly stored the book upstairs in their bedroom, under a pile of dress pants that had no use since the STREX Corp dress code had been instated. Cecil never liked them anyway. He returned downstairs and channel hopped for a little while until he heard the fire alarm shouting insults at Carlos in the kitchen. He would have ignored it, but he could smell burning and the insults were getting worse. He stood and wandered into the room, smell getting more intense, yelling getting louder.   
"You're a crappy chef! This always happens, I'm SICK OF IT! Stop cooking, you're ruining my day. Put that thing in the sink and order in!" The fire alarm was running around on the ceiling. Carlos had freaked the first time it had happened, now he just pulled a charred- something or other out of the oven and put it in the sink to prevent any fire. He hadn't notice Cecil enter.  
"HEY, WHAT'RE YOU-" The fire alarm shouted before falling silent to the ground.   
"Thanks," Carlos muttered. They assumed it was the Faceless Old Woman who not-so-sectrely lived in their home (and everyone else's home). It was then that Carlos turned around and jumped.  
"It's okay, Carlos. I'm not really hungry anyway." Cecil said from the doorway.  
"But I'm a scientist. A scientist is supposed to be self-reliant." He looked down and sighed. Cecil thought for a moment.  
"How about you still make dinner, only you make a dinner of things that don't require cooking. Like a picnic. I'll find a rug for us to sit on." He grinned, pecked Carlos' cheek and ran upstairs to find an old rug or blanket.

 

It didn't take long for Carlos to set out a plate of food for their indoor picnic. He had sliced some cheese, set out some wheat-and-wheat-by-products free crackers and pulled a botttle of wine from the fridge. When he brought it in, Cecil applauded theatrically and sat cross-leggedly on the rug he'd found.   
They sat and ate their crackers and cheese and enjoyed several glasses of wine, and then Carlos went to fetch desert- tiramisu. It was one of the rare foods that they both had equal passion for. They were little, individual servings and they were delicious. One of them, which one was unclear, began feeding the other and so they sat and fed spoonfuls of tiramisu to each other and then lay back, smiling. 

"We're staring at our own ceiling, Carlos." He said, slowly. "It's beautiful."  
"It is," Carlos agreed. "Not as beautiful as you though." He said. The radio host grinned and shuffled closer to him. 

They lay there for a while, staring at the beauty of the ceiling and the beauty of each other and breathing. Then Carlos turned to Cecil and said "Hey, Cec?" Cecil turned and hummed. "Why do you have Chemistry for beginners?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Cec?" Cecil turned and hummed. "Why do you have Chemistry for beginners?" Cecil sighed deeply and looked Carlos in the eyes, before turning and putting his head on the other man's arm.  
"I'm taking a science class at the community college. That's one of the textbooks they give out for the course." Cecil was expecting a bunch of questions: Since when? Until when? Why? Do you like it? Is it because of me? How do you have time? Instead, Carlos simply said "That book sucks."   
"I didn't know if it was just me." Cecil said, looking at the ceiling again. Carlos ran his nails through Cecil's hair.  
"What d'you mean, just you?" He sounded- concerned. Cecil only shrugged for a minute.  
"I don't know, I guess it's just the words and pictures sort of flow into one big black swirl. It's like the science doesn't want me to learn it." He confessed. Carlos couldn't help but laugh a little, but Cecil looked hurt, so he apoogised.  
"Sorry. Of course the science wants you to learn it. Do you want to learn the science?" He asked, honestly although 'the science' was beginning to sound a little funny.  
"Of course! I'm very into science these days, Carlos." He replied passionately. "It's just- my finals are in three weeks and I don't seem to be able to study. And I really want to understand this; I want to understand YOU when you talk to me about science." His voice had a little despair in it. Not quite like that night at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex with the small civilisation under lane 5, but it reminded Carlos uncomfortably of that.  
"This reaally means a lot to you, doesn't it?" Cecil nodded, it was childlike and adorable. "Okay, I'm going to let you in on a secret- I'm terrible at studying. When I was in High School it was never really an issue, I could get by without a lot of effort. But then at college I found myself sitting down to study and then doing everything but. I would tidy the room, organise my desk, draw out a study timetable and conveniently lose it so I could make another one, anything. I almost failed my first exam. And then my tutor suggested using flash cards and studying with friends, and I joined a study group and bought a bunch of cards to make notes on and here I am, a successful scientist who just today confirmed a theory of why the sun sets so loud."   
"I though it was David who-"   
"Not the point. You can do this Cecil. Three weeks, right? You're going to ace this exam, and I'll help you.'

The next morning Carlos neglected his research and found the syllabus for Cecil's class. It wasn't a super advanced class, but there was a part on biology that he wasn't too sure about. He asked Erica (with a C, she now clarified to everyone she met) and it seemed pretty simple. It was mostly about plants, which Carlos was NOT an expert on, but he would manage. He also stopped by several stores to find some supplies that could be used as pens and flash cards.   
Yes, Carlos had his supply of pens at the lab in his old room and yes, he could quite easily cut up one of his many illegal notebooks to make the cards, but Cecil had issues with pens and paper. The first time he'd seen Carlos with a pen he went as pale as a ghost and actually considered reporting him, warning him against the dangers of such implements. So he would make do with food colouring, a feather from a dead (and as yet unidentified) animal that had fallen from the glow cloud and some pizza boxes 'borrowed' from Big Rico's. 

When Cecil got home that night, Carlos had ordered vegetable chow mein and prawn crackers and was sitting with a pile of 'similarly sized' rectangles of pizza boxes. Cecil joined him at the table and was handed a carton of chinese. The feather had be crudely fashioned into a quill (it worked, Carlos had tested it) and the various food colours were set out on the table.   
"What is all this?" Cecil asked, somewhat awed by the effort.  
"I said I'd help you study. These are for the cards," he waved the pizza cards "No pens or paper- just food colouring, a feather and pizza boxes. Completely legal." He said, looking around as if to make sure the secret police were FULLY aware of that fact. They were, of course. They're fully aware of everything.

They ate their food together and then Carlos pulled out a long list of questions on his phone.   
"Pop quiz!" He announced. Cecil looked shocked.  
"But we haven't even started yet!" He protested. Carlos smiled.  
"I need to see how much you know already."   
"Nothing! I don't know anything!" Cecil cried, a little out of character for 'The Voice of Night Vale' but perfectly in character for the Cecil Carlos knew.  
"Don't worry, I won't judge you for not knowing this stuff, Cecil. Most of Night Vale, hell, most of anywhere doesn't know even a quarter of this information." He looked at Cecil and Cecil looked back. They didn't say anything, but after a moment Carlos nodded.  
"Good. We're starting with physics because I'm most familar with it. Question one: What is an alpha particle?" Cecil closed his eyes and thought.  
"It's like a proton, right?" He said. Carlos smiled.  
"Nearly, it's two protons- the same as a helium nucleus."   
"Oh, I KNEW that." Cecil sighed, visibly chastising his lack memory.  
"This is adorable, I can't wait until we have kids." Carlos said without thinking. Cecil's head snapped up. "I mean, if we have kids. If you want kids. Can we even adopt in Night Vale? God, I'm sorry, now isn't the time for this conversation." He rambled, trying to save himself. Cecil put his hand out and grabbed the other man's wrist.  
"I'd love to have kids. But it's a complicated process and now might not be the right time to be thinking about it. It's nice to know we're on the same page about kids though, I was never really sure about that." They smiled and Carlos took a deep breatth.  
"Okay then. Question 2..."

 

And so it continued like this, night after night, with Cecil making topic cards on areas Carlos had highlighted the night before while Carlos was at work, and Carlos questioning Erica on anything biological that they might get stuck on.   
Three weeks later, after several exams and the fastest writing of an academic essay ever recorded, Cecil was done. Now he just had to wait for his final results. Which were six weeks away.   
"I always hated that you have to wait so long for your results. We finished our exams at the end of May and didn't find out what we'd got until August. And the waiting sucked, because you didn't even know if you could carry on with college after the summer. You just had to see what happened. But I'm sure you'll be fine, Cec. It'll be an outrage if you don't pass your class." They were lying in bed, Cecil curled up to Carlos' chest.  
"How were you planning to do this without telling me, anyway?" He asked, looking down at the radio host's head.   
"Dunno. Wanted to surprise you." Cecil murmured. He always stopped articulating himself effectively after a particularly stressful day. Carlos kissed his forehead and settled into sleep.

 

**Six weeks later**  
There was a bird shouting at the door at 7:30 on a saturday morning; the mail was here. A couple of crappy letters trying to get them to buy insurance for 'accidental swallowing by the void', but that was so expensive it wasn't even worth it. A letter addressed to Cecil was there, too. Which wouldn't have normally excited Carlos, but it was from out of town, and that could only mean one thing.  
"Cecil!" He called, rushing back upstairs. "Hey, Cec, wake up. Your results are here." The scientist coaxed, shaking his boyfriend's shoulder. It took a moment for Cecil's brain to go 'Results? Results of-OH!' And then he sat up straight and took the envelope from Carlos.   
He positioned himself upright in a way that had him leaning on the pillows and not doing an eternal sit-up. Carlos was looking at him expectantly. Slowly, tentatively, he opened the envelope. 

'Cecil Gershwin PALMER: Intermediate Science Course  
BioIntMod: A  
ChemIntMod: B  
PhysIntModule: A+  
Overall Grade: A '

He looked up at Carlos with a blank face and handed him the paper. He waited for him to take in the information before grinning broadly at him. He dashed to the chest of drawers, opened the top one and pulled out a badge that read 'Cecil the Scientist' and pinned it onto the pyjamas of his boyfriend. Cecil couldn't be happier.

"You know I'm going to have to take you to the lab and show off your science skills now, right?" Carlos laughed and kissed the lips of the newly instated scientist. He knew he could do it, he's Cecil Gershwin Palmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So once again, sorry for any spelling mistakes or words that don't make sense. The 'IntMod' after the subject code on Cecil's results means 'Intermediate Module' in case you were wondering. Again, disclaimer: I have never read any book called 'Chemistry for beginners' I'm sure it's a perfectly good book in real life but this one isn't okay? Okay. Thanks so much for reading. You never know, I might write a follow up with Cecil and Carlos adopting. But with the way canon is going, who knows?  
> Love you all, comments are encouraged!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So yes, this is going to be a two chapter thing (go me!). I'm sorry for any ridiculous words or spelling mistakes, I'm using my new bluetooth keyboard connected to my iPod at 23:00 (which is late for me). Also, disclaimer: I have never read any book called 'Chemistry for beginners' I'm sure it's a perfectly good book in real life but this one isn't okay? Okay.


End file.
